I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: An Interview.

The Austrian Oak is best known as an iconic tough guy. Yet, during the peak of his star power in the eighties and nineties, he also starred in several surprisingly great comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its three-and-a-half decade milestone this holiday season.

The Role and That Line

In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger portrays a tough police officer who masquerades as a schoolteacher to track down a criminal. For much of the story, the investigation plot functions as a loose framework for Schwarzenegger to have charming moments with his young class. The most unforgettable involves a child named Joseph, who out of nowhere stands up and states the actor, “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.” The Terminator deadpans, “I appreciate the insight.”

That iconic child was portrayed by former young actor Miko Hughes. His career included a recurring role on Full House as the bully to the child stars and the haunting part of the resurrected boy in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with several projects in development. He also frequently attends popular culture events. Recently discussed his recollections from the set of Kindergarten Cop 35 years later.

Behind the Scenes

Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I think I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.

Wow, I don't recall being four. Do you remember anything from that time?

Yeah, somewhat. They're brief images. They're like visual recollections.

Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?

My mother, mainly would accompany me to auditions. Sometimes it was like a cattle call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all patiently queue, enter the casting office, be in there briefly, do whatever little line they wanted and that was it. My parents would help me learn the words and then, when I became literate, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have an impression of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?

He was extremely gentle. He was fun. He was pleasant, which arguably stands to reason. It would be strange if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a productive set. He was fun to be around.

“It would be strange if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”

I understood he was a major movie star because I was told, but I had not actually watched his movies. I felt the importance — it was exciting — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was just fun and I just wanted to play with him when he had time. He was busy, obviously, but he'd occasionally joke around here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd tense up and we'd be holding on. He was exceptionally kind. He bought every kid in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was the hottest tech. This was the coolest device, that funky old yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It finally gave out. I also was given a authentic coach's whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all got a whistle as well.

Do you remember your time filming as being enjoyable?

You know, it's amusing, that movie became a phenomenon. It was a major production, and it was a wonderful time, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the direction of Ivan Reitman, traveling to Oregon, the production design, but my memories are of being a really picky eater at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was brand new. That was the hot thing, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would ask for my help to get past hard parts on games because I was able to, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all childhood recollections.

That Famous Quote

OK, the infamous quote, do you remember anything about it? Did you know what you were saying?

At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word taboo meant, but I knew it was provocative and it caused the crew to chuckle. I was aware it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given approval in this case because it was humorous.

“She really wrestled with it.”

How it originated, based on what I was told, was they were still developing characters. Certain bits of dialogue were written into the script, but once they had the whole cast on the set, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they refined it on set and, presumably the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to have this line. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "Give me a moment, I need time" and took a short while. It was a tough call for her. She said she was hesitant, but she believed it would likely become one of the most memorable lines from the movie and she was right.